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UnderstandingOCD.
Personal Stories Intro Personal Stories  1   2   3   Poetry   Art  OCD Humor

OCD HUMOR.
   What A Beautiful Morning.
   Welcome To the Mental Hotline.

OCD Humor, The Lighter Side of OCD.

If you are offended by the idea of looking for the funnier side of OCD and other Mental Disorders, don't continue to read.
But try and remember that people use different ways of coping with a disorder such as OCD and that humor is 1 of those ways.

What A Beautiful Morning.

This is a song about OCD sung to the tune of "Oh, What A Beautiful Morning!" from the musical "OKLAHOMA!"

There's a bright golden spill on the toilet,
Should I mop it, or scour it, or boil it?
And how many times more must I check the front door?
And can I get AIDS from that stain on the floor?


Oh, What an OCD morning!
Oh, What an OCD day!
I've got that OCD feeling!
I will be checking all day!

Ten o'clock and the tension is mounting,
Pretty soon I just know I'll start counting.
Then it's shower time -- hurray!
And I'm scrubbing all day!
And with no help in sight I'll be finished next May!

Oh, what an OCD morning!
Oh, what an OCD day!
I've got that OCD feeling!
Washing is here to stay!

Anonymous.


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Welcome To the Mental Health Hotline.
Hello... and Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline......
  • If you are Obsessive- Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
  • If you are co- dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
  • If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
  • If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
  • If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
  • If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
  • If you are a Manic- Depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
  • If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
  • If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
  • If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
  • If you have post- traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 000.
  • If you have Bi-Polar Disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
  • If you have short- term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss press 9. If you have short- term memory loss, press 9. If you have short- term memory loss, press 9.
  • If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.
  • If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just screw it up.

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        Top Of The Page. OCD Definitions.